Healthy Functional Fulfilling Relationships - How do we get there?
Using Scripture as our base line, we are given plenty of foundational principals upon which we can build a happy marriage. Two strong, independent, brilliant individuals - working out matters of life, either in concert, or in conflict. If we include the spiritual mandate on love, we can see where problems arise. "Love does not seek its own." Ah...selfishness, self-centeredness...our dilemma."
However, when the Holy Spirit dwells in us, He inspires us to others-centerdness. Love looks and acts quite differently in a spirit-driven lifestyle. No Christian can say, ”that’s just how I am.” The world says this because it has no choice but we, the extraordinary children of God, are without excuse.
Below is a list of resourses which I will be building in the coming months. Those resources listed here are perfect for beginning the shift possible to creating the fulfilling and glorious marriage God has for you.
Caveat: Religion has created doctrine around marriage that has left individuals trapped in dangerous situations. Hopeless women (and men!) suffer silently as their abusing partners rage out of control terrorizing the entire family with their soul destroying behaviors.
You do not lose your standing with God because you courageously choose to separate youself from a violent environment. There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus - only grace. He can help you find your way. I will do everything I can to support you as seek to move you and your children out harm's way.
Below are resources for Marriage, Addiction and Domestic Violence/Sex Trafficking
Henry Cloud and John Townsend:
Favorite: Boundaries for Marriage
(Why I love: The Bible teaches us that in marriage we are one. But we are two individuals who’s great task will be to grow in the spiritual context of one. Boundaries are basically respect skills and adopting them cultivates the opportunity to grow a healthy life together.)
Favorite: Five Love Languages
(Why I love: Such a simple concept. We are different! My husband’s love language is acts of service. This is how he loves others and how feels loved. Me: I just vacuumed! Happy Birthday! My love language is words of affirmation. I thrive with words of acknowledgement and attention. Me: How come you never say you love me anymore? Him: What? I told you that when we got married...wait, again??)
Favorite: Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
(Why I Love: John Gottman is not a theologian; he is a scientist, he is our expert on Flesh Factor behaviors. He has coducted emperical research, studying the dynamics of hundreds of couples over years of time to draw conclusions about what makes happily and unhappily married couples, so. I learned much about what NOT to do!
Resources for Addiction
Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation: www.hazeldenbettyford.org
National Institute on Drug Abuse: www.drugabuse.gov
Alcoholics Anonymous - www.aa.org
Gambler's Anonymous - http://www.gamblersanonymous.org
The Meier Clinics - www.meierclinics.com/Freedom (sex addiction)
See also, Every Man's Battle, by Stephen Arterburn (www.amazon.com)
Alanon - www.al-anon.alateen.org (families of addics)
Domestic Abuse/Human Trafficking
Women Escaping A Violent Environment (W.E.A.V.E.) - www.weaveinc.org
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence - http://www.ncadv.org
National Human Trafficking Resource Center - www.traffickingresourcecenter.org